Holiday Special!

Holiday Special!

Here's a little Holiday Cheer from the Xmas Dream Team!

Merry Christmas From St. Nick and Krampus

TGIF!

TGIF!

APOCALYPSE LATER!

It had to happen.  Today, according to many misguided and frankly stupid interpretors, is the end of the world.  Ha! Well, as you can see, it isn't.  I'm sure the ancient Mayans are face-palming themselves from their 5th dimensional headquarters.  There are so many problem with the vision of apocalypse that people have its tough to know where to begin.  Why, even the word apocalypse is misunderstood.  It simply means "Unveiling," you know, like the showcase showdown on the Price-is-Right.

As I'm sure all of you are aware, there have been many attempts to put a fine point on the End of Days and they have all been wrong.  Why they have been wrong, is anybody's guess, but I'm going with either insanity or that they just wanted some attention.  So, for this Apocalyptic special, I thought I would highlight a few other humorous cases of mistaken Armageddon.

Jesus

Even JC had a rough estimate of the end time scenario that didn't pan-out.  He spoke of trials, famine, hardships, false versions of himself, people that weren't very nice and so on.  He made a few "vague" statements about when it would happen:

"Verily I say unto you, there are some of them that stand here, who shall in no wise taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom." (Matthew 16:28)

He said this a few other times.  St Paul certainly took up that belief in an immanent return of Jesus, even telling married couples that having sex wasn't a good idea since Jesus was about to charge back into town.  Well, that generation has come and gone, and gosh darn it if there was no second coming for them...

The First Millenium.

Around the year 1000, Christians were starting to get nervous because the date was getting much higher than their smartest men could count (also the hit song "Party like its 999 spread panic and funk into the streets).  Lots of people predicted the apocalypse, including Pope Sylvester II, who I'm sure can be quoted as referring to the antichrist with the phrase, "sufferin sucatash" attached.  Riots rocked Europe before the first of that year.  When nothing happened, the people assumed the end must come at the end of that year.  So around December 31st, they rioted again.

The Great Disapointment.

This guy was good.  This is William Miller.  This Baptist preacher predicted that the second coming of Jesus was going to occur on March 21, 1844.  He arrived at this date by doing "calculations" from the time stated in the bible.  After carrying the 1, Miller told everyone about this date, and he actually got alot of attention and people were generally freaked out.  Nothing happened of note that day besides horse throwing a shoe that knocked out a small boy's loose tooth.

So, people were upset, and he looked bad.  But then, he revealed that he had made a mistake, miscounted, miscalculated, and misunderstood everything. The true date was October 11th of that same year.  Even more anticipation was built up.  There was massive speculation and fear associated with that date.  Again, nothing happened.  These events would later be called, the great disappointment.  You'll see another jerk like this later on.

Y2K

For some reason, people thought computers couldn't count to 2000, and that the world's devices would destoy us in the year 2000.  Nothing happened.

Oh, and alot of dumb people thought it was going to be the end of the world for other reasons too (Second coming, alien invasion, the end of the Spice Girls, etc).

The RAPTURE!

My own prediction for the manor of the end of the world.  This one nearly came true, if only the statue came to life instead of caught fire.

Harold Camping

This guy takes the taco.  Harold Camping has made four, count 'em, FOUR predictions for the end of the world.  This lil' puppy's joy ride started in 1994 when he predicted the end on September 6th.  When nothing happened, he moved it to the 29th, my seventh birthday, and then to October 2nd.  After that, he scratched that year and said that he was absolutely super serious about March 31st 1995.  When that failed, he chose to wait a while before dazzling us.

In 2011, he gave us all a chance to laugh, cry, and scream "Oh Why!?"  He made a massive marketing campaign that took over billboards, ads, bumperstickers and the internet, telling everyone that the world was going to end, utterly and completely, on May 21st.

Nothing.

But he said that the spiritual rapture HAD happened, and that the physical end had always been Oct 21st.  People, in there desperation to make it off the "naughty list" sold off all of their property, and gave all of their money to Camping's Christian radio station.  They were so conviced of the end, they gave him everything.

Nothing.

How dark the con of man.

Today

Look, we all know where I'm going with this.  The notion of an End of things is a major part of our societal mythology.  All ancient beliefs have something to say about how things will end for us here on Earth.  Even science says the universe can't last forever.  So why are we trying to speed up the process?  Why do we let this idea factor so heavily in our public forums and mythological lifestyles?  Why do we anticipate the end instead of participate in the now?  Why does the End matter more than the means?

To me, it doesn't. 

Today, for me, and possibly for others, is a chance to reevaluate what's important to how i live my life: how things will end up, or how I'll make them now.  I am going to take this chance to enjoy the connections I have made to this world and so many people and things in it.  That's what Quetzalcoatl is all about, to me:  Connecting.

Thanks.

Have a nice end of the world!

Creators: Matt Groening

Creators

A growing list of inspirational Artists, Writers, Filmmakers, and Poets.

 Matt Groening

Today for my post on creators I wanted to highlight of my greatest creative influences; Comic artist Matt Groening.  Out of Portland Oregon, he, like me, came from a big family, which, also like me, gave him a lifetime supply of comedic material.

His work in comics started with his comic strip Life in Hell which stared, among other things, demented rabbits and the twins/lovers Akbar and Jeff.  I was actually introduced rather late to his comic work, only discovering it in college.  Probably my favorite Prof of all time, Evan Griffin, included Matt Groening and Gary Larson comics in his Interpersonal Communications curriculum.  I have been hooked since then.

What I love about this comic is of course the writing.  It's a self aware gag-ridden humor that reeks of an affection for irony, self deprecation, and insightful observation.  It flirts with being cynical but it's too damn cheerful to be so.

Oh, Matt, you DO love me!

Oh, Yeah! He also did a little set of shorts on the Tracy Ulman show, though, nothing ever came of it.

Just kidding.  I owe my entire childhood and most of my sense of humor to The Simpsons.  The longest running sitcom has had the best comedy writing since it started.  I love the enormous cast of characters that populate its world and how exquisitely they portray the kinds of people I have come across throughout my travels and tribulations.  So I guess I'm saying I meet alot of dumb people.

I also dug the Arcade game.  Wasted lots of quarters on that baby.

 Oh, and I also love Zoidberg-I mean Futurama

The End... HUZZAH!

I'm Only Funny on Paper

I'm Only Funny on Paper

A Comic.

What would you say?

Creators: Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

Creators

A growing list of inspirational Artists, Writers, Filmmakers, and Poets.

Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster

Like spaghetti and meatballs, bacon and eggs, or politics and corruption, the team of Siegel and Shuster is a set of words that just goes together in your head.  And what follows immediately after is there irreplacable contribution to world History in their character: Superman! Not bad for a couple of poor Jewish kids from Cleveland, eh?

Actually Joe was from Toronto originally.  These two guys had a rough go of it starting out in the business because everyone was telling them no.  I'm sure they all felt like the red sox a few years later.

Oh yeah, and originally the idea for superman came from this terrifying comic where a man gets telepathic powers and takes over the world.  Thankfully he gets taken out in the end.  As you might guess, the story was a hard sell, so Jerry kept the name and retooled the concept.

So instead of a Lex Luthor wannabe with telepathy, Siegel made a Samson and Moses hybrid with a Buck Rogers background, and sharp eye looking out for the oppressed.  And then Shuster gave him a circus strongman's tights and briefs with Zorro's cape, and Whammo!  We have the first superhero.  A modern day demi-god with amazing abilities, a secret identity, and a heart of gold.  This was the first step into our modern mythology, which had heaping helpings of the old myths to get it going. 




I love these guys, not only for creating Superman, but for creating a new Mythology for all of us to dream in.  They took the stories they were familiar with, that many of us grew up with, gave it a new context and form, and released it in beautiful 4 color glory.

Thanks Jerry and Joe

I'm Only Funny On Paper

I'm Only Funny On Paper

A Comic.

 

Grackles

TGIF!

TGIF!

Thank God It's Friday!

Happy Hanukkah!

Since This Friday falls just before the Celebration of the Festival of Lights, I thought I would dedicate this TGIF to it.

Let's Start with some festive Music.

Or you can Rock his acoustic Version

And His new Song!

And now for some classics!

and of course...

He made a Hanukkah movie, remember?

It was an alright movie.  Lots of original songs and poop related humor.  It's not really about Hanukkah, but simply takes place during it.  I would give it a watch, just not with kids.

And just because...

Happy Hanukkah

Creators: Lloyd Alexander

Creators

A growing list of inspirational Artists, Writers, Filmmakers, and Poets.

Lloyd Alexander

Lloyd Chudley Alexander (1924-2007) has one of the most hilarious middle names ever.  Go ahead, say it to yourself: Chudley.  Along with having a hilarious middle name, Mr. Alexander is a celebrated author of over 40 books, most of them fantasy.  In west Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days.

The works of his that I am most familiar with are his Chronicles of Prydain.  As young man, Lloyd visited Great Britain and fell in love with it's folklore.  King Arthur was already a close childhood friend, but what struck him in that later time were the legends of Wales, and by proxy, a fierce love of the letter 'y' and hatred of the letter 'i.'  The books he came to write were Newbery Medal winners that have been in publication since the early 60s.  The first of which is "The Book of Three," and the Second, "The Black Cauldron," were cobbled together to make the 1985 Disney movie.

A pretty crappy movie I might add.  The computer game was alright, But don't let that turn you off on the books.

The stories themselves are fun recreations of many classic welsh legends into one cohesive character-driven story about Taran, assistant pig keeper. But apart from enjoying the stories, What i like most about Lloyd Alexander is his writing style.  It is concise yet it it paints a crystal clear image of the scene:

Autumn had come too swiftly. In the northernmost realms of Prydain many trees were already leafless, and among the branches clung the ragged shapes of empty nests. To the south, across the river Great Avren, the hills shielded Caer Dallben from the winds, but even here the little farm was drawing in on itself. For Taran, the summer was ending before it had begun. That morning Dallben had given him the task of washing the oracular pig. Had the old enchanter ordered him to capture a full-grown gwythaint, Taran would gladly have set out after one of the vicious winged creatures. As it was, he filled the bucket at the well and trudged reluctantly to Hen Wen's enclosure. The white pig, usually eager for a bath, now squealed nervously and rolled on her back in the mud.

Also, he has a great talent for creating a voice for each of his characters. write a page full of dialogue with no credits and you would still be able to know who was talking. Like the hilarious Eilonwy's similes:

"I'm not sure I'm going to help you any more at all, after the way you've behaved; and calling me those horrid names, that's like putting caterpillars in somebody's hair."

And he also writes awesome stuff like this:

“Child, child, do you not see? For each of us comes a time when we must be more than what we are.” 

“Most of us are called on to perform tasks far beyond what we can do. Our capabilities seldom match our aspirations, and we are often woefully unprepared. To this extent, we are all Assistant Pig-Keepers at heart.”

“Long ago I yearned to be a hero without knowing, in truth, what a hero was. Now, perhaps, I understand it a little better. A grower of turnips or a shaper of clay, a Commot farmer or a king--every man is a hero if he strives more for others than for himself alone.
Once you told me that the seeking counts more than the finding. So, too, must the striving count more than the gain.”

He also liked cats alot

I'm Only Funny on Paper

I'm Only Funny on Paper

A comic.

Playing catch fetch with kids.