I Read: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

I Read: When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

I have never read a book by a comedian before.  The only reason I read this one is because I found it in my parent's basement and had no idea how something like that got there.  I read it, and got a handful of chuckles.  Rather than give you a play by play, I'll just give you some of my favorite bits.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? by George Carlin

Illustration: Unbelievably, a Goldfish can kill a Gorilla. However, it does require a substantial element of surprise.

Everything was somewhat organized under headings of the great man's thoughts (I love George Carlin, and I'm glad I read this.)  But here, I'll just offer you some, as George would say, 'free-floating hostility.'

• Read "A Modern Man"
• Men are Stupid and Women are crazy (because Men are stupid.) He also has other great passages on men and women.
• Euphemisms; the man was confounded by them. "I first became aware of euphemisms when I was 9 years old. I was in the living room with my mother and my aunt Lil when I mentioned that Lil had a mole on her face.  My mother was quick to point out that Lil didn't have a mole, she had a beauty mark." Relax and be happy that your pimples are seen by some as mere skin blemishes. He explores MANY more Euphemisms in the book.
• Why are people who believe in UFO's treated as significantly less credible than people who believe in the supernatural?
• He reduces the Ten commandments down to two: be honest and faithful, and try really hard not to kill someone else unless they don't pray to the same god you do.
• "Every child is special. An empty meaningless statement. What about every adult? Isn't every adult special? And if not, then at what age does a person go from being special to being not-so-special? And if every adult IS also special, then that means all people are special and the idea has no meaning. This embarrassing sentiment is usually advanced to further some position that is either political or fund-raising in nature. It's similar to "children are our future." It's completely meaningless and is probably being used in some self-serving way."
• Why is it the only time you ever hear the word figment it's in relation to the imagination? Aren't there any other kinds of figments?
• A GENERIC JOKE: A person walks into a place and says something to another person. The second person says something back to the first person, who listens to that and then says something back to the second person. The thing that he says back is really funny.
• Ignore these four words.
• Here's How money can buy happiness: Money gives you options, options give you breathing room, breathing room gives you control and control can offer you a measure of happiness. Maybe.
• The sky is not blue. It merely looks that way because blue is the name we have given that color.
• A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

TGIF!

TGIF!

Thank God  it's Friday!

Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais is a funny guy.  He created The Office and has written for dozens of shows and movies.  He's a talented stand up comedian as well, with his quirky mannerisms and delivery.  He's a thoughtful guy too, often weighing in on world events and commenting on society, which is a comedian's job after all.  He's also an Atheist.  

I decided on Ricky Gervais as the focus for this Friday's post because I needed a laugh and he's a great person to get one from.  Often times religious comedy is either harmless or harmful.  With Gervais, he is usually goofy as hell.  Take for instance his reading of the Noah story (Language advisory).

That was great!  "Why did the dove get a second go and not the raven?  Racist!"  He doesn't think the Bible has much credence to it, FYI.  You may have guessed that from a little movie called The Invention of Lying.  In it, his character lives in a world without lies, and he, the first person to lie, also is the founder of religion.

That's some pretty funny stuff.  I recommend seeing the rest of the movie too.  I want to share a few more of my favorite bits of his.  Come on it's Friday, have a laugh!

And This...

And this...

And Finally, this talk he had with Richard Dawkins...

Not just funny, but thoughtful.  A good human being.
Have a splendid weekend!

Creators: Mel Brooks

Creators

A growing list of inspirational artists, writers, poets, filmmakers, and creatives.

Mel Brooks

Melvin James Kaminsky is one funny guy.  He's the kind of funny guy that I would want to be: someone who can effortlessly put a smile on your face.  And if you google him, it's nearly impossible to find a picture of him where he isn't smiling.  He's won an Emmy, a Tony, a Grammy, and an Oscar through his career.  His life of comedy began in standup, and then like so many others went into comedy writing.  From there, he developed the improv act The 2000 year old man with fellow comedian Carl Riener, and developed the pilot for Get Smart before braking into movies.

Mel has created some of my favorite comedies, and with the amount of awards and honors he's racked up, I'm sure they're some of yours too.

Space Balls (1987):

The beginning of my love affair with Mel came in the year of my birth.  Space Balls was probably the first movie that made me laugh so hard I hurt.  The scene in question, EVERY one with Rick Moranis.  This is the essential send up to Star Wars.  All others are crap in comparison.

Young Frankenstein (1974)

Hello Handsome!  Young Frankenstein is certainly a classic in comedy by anyone's standards.  It's one of those movies that people look at you funny if you say you haven't seen it.  As a kid I loved "Put'n on the Ritz" and the catapulted girl to no end.  For the rest of my life, I will expect to hear horses whinny when Frau Blücher is spoken.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

My favorite rendition of the Robin Hood story on film.  It's a hilarious parody of Errol Flynn's The Adventures of Robin hood and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.  It has great jokes, Dave Chappelle, Sir Jean Luc Richard, and "Unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak in an english accent."

Blazing Saddles (1974)

A beautiful movie about race relations.  "Where all the white women at?"

History of the World Part 1 (1981)

Eagerly awaiting the follow up, History of the World Part 1 is a great excuse to load a movie with anachronisms, sight-gags, and subject specific jokes.  My affection for this movie is likened to my affection for "saucy bernaise," "Count De Money," "nvts," Jesus Jokes, and the greatest dance number inspired by the Spainish Inquisition:

Honorable mention to both versions of The Producers.

He was also Big Weld in Robots.  Class act.

Get to know him if you don't already.